The fear of losing oneself

I realized that there is one topic that keeps popping up in my head which relates to the combination between personal development and distraction, especially relationships with men (well in my case). This article is – as always – written from my perspective; hence I’m relating to guys only. However, this article can be applied to men and women alike, I’m sure.

When you are so deep in your personal development journey as I am at the moment and as I have been for the past 6 months, when you realize just how wonderful this journey is, when you really enjoy it to the fullest (even if damn hard at times), when knots are bursting, when your life is shifting, when you feel like your whole world is rocking (mainly to the positive), then you obviously want to keep this momentum going and growing. Right?

What do you think it is we need to keep the momentum going and growing? Yes, we need discipline and consistency, but most importantly we need the will and hunger to keep going. In January 2018, I experienced this will and hunger stronger than ever before, I write weekly action plans to stay focused and disciplined, I have a daily yoga, meditation and gratitude practice, I listen to podcasts and I watch relevant videos on YouTube. I realized that my will is growing stronger, as my Why is growing stronger with every step I take on this beautiful journey.

What I’m trying to get at is that this journey and the beautiful outcomes fulfill me so much, that I sometimes fear being thrown off this journey. By distractions, whatever they may be. However, majorly I noticed a fear of distraction by men. I am a happy single at the moment, yet I do wish for a beautifully fulfilling relationship amongst equals. At the same time, isn’t that exactly the challenge? To find the other half that wants to support you at all times, that wants to see you grow, who is himself grounded, positive, and is aspiring a healthy, free and abundant lifestyle? A person who you can be 100% authentic with, a person who is motivating you, a person who you can look up to, yet at the same time feels inspired by your energy and positivity and not threatened. Are you still with me? Can you resonate with my feelings? My impression is that guys are indeed scared sometimes, of themselves, of a woman that knows what she wants, of really living the life they want to live. I want to emphasize though that this is my impression only and that I don’t want to generalize this statement, there are always exceptions to the rule.

Then there is me, self-confident, convinced that I’ve chosen the right way, simply because I feel it, my flow and happiness, with the universe making things happen for me. Yet, there are moments, where it’s like I’m ‘forgetting’ my values, my boundaries, my wishes for the next relationship, my big vision for my life. But why? Does it depend on my mood, on the day, on the weather, on the guy? I don’t know really, but in case you bond with what I’m talking about, then let me tell you one thing. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Accept that you may have weak moments just like I had in the last few months, accept that you may have a ‘down’ phase, but know that the next day will be the start of an ‘up’ phase again.

The other thing I would like to share with you is that I strongly believe that the right partner, my soul mate will come into my life, when it is right, when I am ready, when he is ready. We attract what we express, so just be in your flow, in your higher self, and your other half will step into your life.

As for me, I’m sure I will be able to stand my grounds, stick to my values and life vision and set my boundaries, meaning that I don’t need to fear distraction by a relationship. Because in the right relationship, you don’t need to fear such things. So, don’t be afraid of your spiritual growth, keep shining your light, keep going and live the life you really want to live!

And maybe we sometimes need to lose ourselves in love to find real love? Just a thought.

Yours, Nina

2 Comments

  1. Nina I was stuck by these words you wrote:”My impression is that guys are indeed scared sometimes, of themselves, of a woman that knows what she wants, of really living the life they want to live.”

    isn’t it always ‘inside out’? Life happening is just mirroring you inside? Imagine men who are strong, love women living their own lifes etc. and take at look what will happen.

    Besides with this I answered the same thing for me. Think I imagined the wrong guys crisding my way so far.

    Thx for inpiring me and my thaughts.

    Best wishes. Reagrds Monee

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Monee, thank you so much for your comment. I like what you write and I agree with what you say about the mirroring. Everything I write is of course just my personal reflection and experience and in my case I would be happy to have a strong guy next to me who knows what he wants, also in a relationship. And I totally agree on the that so far the right guy simply didn’t cross my way, OR at least the right guy hasn’t noticed that he is the right one 😉 Thank you for inspiring me too and to rethink my thoughts. Much love coming your way, Nina

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s