I’ve always been a rather extroverted person as opposed to being introverted and shy, but I must say that expressing my feelings has become a theme very close to my heart.
When I was younger, I’ve experienced many situations, where I felt like I wanted to stand my grounds and to speak my mind in order to protect myself, but I also learnt that doing so wasn’t safe. I left my mouth and my heart closed with the result of massive jaw tension and shoulder and neck tightness.
Our body keeps somatic memories from stress and trauma from the past. The first step is to make ourselves aware of these symptoms, so we can countervail them gradually.
These days I still suffer from jaw tensions when I am exposed to stress situations, for example excessive demands at my workplace, too little time for myself, emotional trouble with a guy/partner, emotional conflicts with family and friends or shocking behaviours. Behaviours that just take me completely by chance. Out of the blue. Not expected at all. This still causes a state of tension in my body due to disbelief and shock, but especially when I’m lost for words. Now, you must understand that I’m not a person lost for words usually, but surprising behaviours also surprise me and take my body by surprise. And so I sometimes find myself with a tense jaw, a headache, or a stiff neck.
I’ve learned over time though that it’s way better for me to speak my mind, to express my feelings, to just be me. Looking back now, I’m sure that some of the tension was a result of not being true to myself, because I feared the consequences. I sometimes still do, but if I do, I really go into that tight feeling of not speaking my mind versus the relieved feeling, if I do. And let’s be honest, in our minds, the consequences are always way more dramatic than they turn out in reality.
Are you also sometimes scared to express your feelings for fear of the consequences and reactions of others? If you are, go into the feeling of self-love and trust. Trust that your feelings are completely fine. Trust that your feelings have the right to exist. Trust that you are allowed to express your feelings. Trust that the right people in your life will be able to receive your feelings. Don’t expect them though to respond at all or in the same intensity.
If you are able to differentiate between expressing your feelings versus expecting the other person to respond in the same way, then you’ve come a long way.
Speak your truth and distance yourself from someone else’s reaction and it will lead you into a healthier, happier life!